My life... In a nutshell

"When I was younger..."

2011-05-04T23:54:00.000-07:00

Today... Well, today wasn't too bad. It wasn't that great, but not awesome. I started out sleeping in, and I had lunch with Ragan, Michael, and Heidi. We had Cafe Rio, which was the first good part. The second was that we actually got to have lunch with Heidi. That was definitely a treat. And then right after, we went longboarding!!! I cant express how much i love longboarding. Its like... well I don't know what the word is, but whenever i go longboarding, I ALWAYS feel good after, and during. It just takes my mind off of everything, up in the mountains, the fresh air, being with friends, i just love it. So then after that, I went and checked out a car that I was thinking about buying, so we drove up to West Valley, and the car was a piece of junk, so we turned around and came home. It was kind of lame, because I was honestly ready to buy the car... if it would have been half decent. I also watched Salt tonight, and really I wasn't that impressed. It just seemed like, they were trying way too hard to make an awesome movie, and it just didn't work. I also watched a few episodes of The Office, one of my favorite TV shows, and then i kicked my brothers butts in Super Smash Bros. Don't tell them I said that. :) Sometimes I don't really understand how Heavenly Father works, I know that all I need to do is trust in Him, but sometimes its really hard...

Self-control = everything!

2011-05-03T23:40:00.000-07:00

Well, another day has come and gone. It was alright. I had to pee in a cup... twice... that was kind of embarrassing. I ate lunch with one of the coolest little kids ever, and his dad, and then I played soccer against about 50 little elementary kids. That was a lot of fun. Mostly, I just tried to stay busy. I witnessed the joy that a welder can bring to my brothers... and thanks to the coolest guy in the world, I had a Goodness run... and man it was good! (Thanks Sean) I also thought about moving out for the summer. Nothing big or long-term, but just to kind of have the experience. First, I need to buy a car, and then figure out if I could pay for it. My job sounds pretty good, but we will see. I just don't want to get stuck in a rut, I have been there and it is not fun at all! Well, thats pretty much it. Peace!
Alex

"Its been such a long time"

2011-05-03T00:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, so im back. I know nobody really reads this, but im going to start posting again. Mostly like a journal type thing. I dont know how personal it will be, but yeah. So i have been home from my mission for a little more than a month now, and life has been interesting. I made a goal to go to the temple every week, and so far so good. I found a job, which should be good. Im signed up for school in the fall at UVU, which im excited about. I met this incredible girl, but for now, she is with someone else... Honestly, I really learned a lot from my mission. I cant explain it all, but I really can see it in my day to day life. No, of course im not perfect, but I changed a lot. Heavenly Father really blessed me, and I am so grateful for everything He has done for me, and continues to do. I am excited for this new part of my life. I feel like I got a fresh start after my mission, and it feels good. Well, hopefully I will keep this going. Goodnight...

"Girl of your dreams"

2009-03-01T21:34:00.000-08:00

So... I have been thinking, and wondering, why is it that i cant get that "girl of my dreams". And i think i came up with a few good reasons. 1- I am aiming WAY to high. 2- I dont think anybody really finds the girl of their dreams, because if they did, they wouldnt really be in their dreams, right? 3- I dont think there is that perfect girl, or guy for you girls, out there. I think the girl of your dreams will always be just that, and in reality, relationships take work and are never perfect. Im just pissed because im shooting for the stars, but im only hitting the top of the hill. I may be shallow, but i cant help that im not attracted to every girl that will give me a second glance. Ugh, life sucks...

A pirates life for me.

2009-02-26T22:21:00.001-08:00

So, i have been thinking lately... I really want to be a pirate. How cool would that be? yeah, freaking awesome is right. So as of now, i have decided that when i get home, i want to grow my hair out long, grow out a beard like Captain Jack Sparrows, and be a pirate. I think i can totally pull it off... but i would like some comments on this, please let me know. In other news, i have less than 3 weeks until i leave... holy crap. Im excited and nervous and all of the above. Plus, girls are lame. the end

Procrastination= STUPID

2009-02-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

So, Im trying to get ready for my mission right? and since im going to a foreign country i have to have a freaking visa... I think a Visa is the stupidest thing ever invented, and the process to get one is a million times worse. I have to buy something here, send it there, walk it another place, get something else and give it to this person so they can sit on it for 5 days and finally give it to another person who walks it down the hall 3 days later to lick it and shove it up their butt!!!! that was obviously an exaggeration but man alive this is ridiculous. Im sick of it. Thats all, peace

Im back!

2009-01-26T19:15:00.000-08:00

So, its been a while, but im finally posting again. For those few of you who actually read this but dont know, i got my mission call, I am going to Buenos Aires Argentina and i leave on March 18th. Thoughs - Im excited, im nervous, im anxious. Basically i cant wait to go but at the same time i cant wait to get home and get going in school again now that i have finally decided on a major. I think Mike was wondering a while ago what major i decided, so to let everyone know, i decided on a physics major, and hopefully working for the CIA being a physicist when im all done. So thats all for now, hopefully i will post a few more times before i leave. Maybe i will have my mom or someone keep my blog updated while im out, we will see.
Peace and love

So sick of the same old problems.

2008-09-28T16:55:00.000-07:00

So... Im going to look for another job. I have only been at this new job for a week but I cant stand it any longer!!! I mean, I know most jobs aren't fun and enjoyable, but I hate this job more than any other thing I have ever done before. So im going to continue working at this job until I have another one for sure. Im going to apply at like every place possible, even if I dont know if they are hiring or not. Im so sick of not having a job but there is no way I can last any longer at this one I have now. On another note, Im so freaking antsy to start school again that its ridiculous. haha. I finally decided on a freaking major and I cant even go to school yet! AGHHHH! Its driving me insane. Thats it for now, I had this desire to blog about something but I feel I didnt get it out yet so maybe next time. Peace

And life goes on...

2008-09-20T11:35:00.000-07:00

So its saturday, September 20, 2008. Its approximately 12:36 pm. Its a lovely shade of gray outside, and I'm sitting at my computer listening to music. What a wonderful day. On a brighter note, its my sisters birthday today so happy birthday to her! So I found a job and I start on monday... I'm not so excited about this job though. Its at a call center, doing inbound customer service for USPS. Awesome... the only plus side to this job is that it pays $10.80 an hour and I will be working at least 40 hours a week. That adds up to a lot of money. I'm ready to start making money and to be able to pay for things. I'm so sick of depending on other people and not being able to buy things. Plus I owe people a whole bunch of money. Mostly my mom but I have a school loan to pay for and I want to continue going to school because I finally decided on a major. I also have a big plan for christmas, its going to be awesome but only if I can learn to save my money. haha. Still lonely as ever, but nobody wants to hear me rant about that anymore. I'm just hoping that with a new job and the ability to go out more that I will find some new friends, but who knows. Until next time, keep it real. Peace!

Will I ever be whole again?

2008-09-15T21:27:00.001-07:00

"Nothing sucks more than being alone, no matter how many people are around." So this is the last line in an episode of Scrubs. First off, let me say that I absolutely love that show. Second, that is 100% how I feel and have felt for about the last 2 years. And no matter how much I try and make new friends or hang out with old ones, the reality of it is that people move on and move away and get married and whatever it is, things change. But I have been sitting around doing absolutely nothing since i graduated from high school. Now I haven't been lonely for that entire time, I did have one person who I could go to and it would take that feeling away, slightly. And I emphasis the word slightly because this person did absolutely nothing for me, and the only reason we ever did anything was because I pushed and pushed until something happened. But when I look back at it now, I think that maybe that attributed to my loneliness. I think I pushed so hard and trusted her so much that when it all stopped, I hit rock bottom and I don't think I have come up much, if at all. It sucks. As the quote says, nothing sucks more. Its like standing next to a fire but you can't feel the heat. I have had one friend for the past little while who has helped me out and kept me going, but I just found out tonight that he is moving... Imagine being at your lowest point in life, and all of a sudden your legs are swept out from under you so now you are even lower than you thought you could ever be. I am not bitter towards this friend of mine because I totally understand his situation and he just has to move, but it still sucks. Most people would probably tell me, just go out and make new friends. But after you have put yourself out there so many times, and especially with someone that means everything to you, and you are rejected almost every time... you start to lose faith in people and your ability to trust is ruined. Sorry this was so long and depressing, not like anyone really reads my blogs anyways, but I just needed to write something down. peace

Music is life.

2008-08-01T14:47:00.000-07:00

So the other day, I was driving home from dairy queen with my mom. As we pull up to a light to turn left, i notice a girl stuck in the middle of the intersection. Immediately I wanted to go help her, but I kept making excuses why I shouldn't. The biggest excuse was that somebody else would help her. The whole drive home I felt horrible. I should have done anything and everything I could have to help this girl, not because I could have gained anything from it, because I probably wouldn't have. I should have helped her just because it was the right thing to do. I think this world is going downhill quickly and it scares me. Don't turn your back on something good, because when you turn around, most of the time it will be gone. We all hear stories about people needing help and nobody doing anything about it and it makes most of us upset, but honestly, how many of us can say we would stop and help someone? It doesn't matter if you know them, or if you will get something out of it or whatever. So the next time you see somebody in need of help, pull your car over, stop talking to your friend, or whatever you are doing, and help them.

p.s. The title of this blog doesn't really have anything to do with it, but I liked it so get over it! thanks bye

"I can feel the pressure, its getting closer now."

2008-07-17T14:31:00.000-07:00

So im back, I got back a while ago I just never blogged about it until now so get over it. Pretty much life is the same, besides 2 HUGE things. 1- There are new episodes of The Avatar!!!!! YAY!!!!! 2- I got this totally incredible cd. Its a piano tribute to Paramore. Why is this cd so good you might ask? Well for one because I LOVE Paramore, and two because I love the piano!!! So its really good. Savvy?

Leaving, on a jet plane!

2008-07-10T15:37:00.000-07:00

Haha first off, I would like to apologize for the title of this blog, but it fits, so get over it. :) Second, I am leaving tonight to fly to arizona for a few days. I am excited. I love flying places and it will be just a nice, weekend getaway. I am having sushi for lunch on saturday for free, well, free to me at least. I will probably go out to eat friday and saturday night for free, once again, free for me. And somewhere in there I will probably do something fun and exciting, besides watching the office, which I love, especially in my dads home theater. Third, girls are lame... for the most part. I am tired of girls telling me what they think is best for me, and what I should do or whatever. So I am just not going to worry about dating or anything. Part of my problem with girls is that I have no direction in my life right now, and no girl wants to steady date a guy that is a bum. So until I get started in a career or something, im not looking for a relationship. Thats pretty much it... I know I dont blog often but I for sure wont until at least monday. So until next time, peace.

Burn the gallows they erect!

2008-07-06T21:11:00.000-07:00

So as much as i love the weekends, i also hate them. Every week i sit around for 2 days doing nothing but watch tv and movies because i have no friends, and always by the end of sunday i have depressed and usually in a bad mood and its just not fun. Plus, girls are stupid and too complicated. The end.

Wall*e continued!!!

2008-06-27T23:14:00.000-07:00

Oh...... Em..... Gee...... that was the best movie i have ever seen. Like thats not just me saying that, it was 100% the BEST movie i have ever seen, hands down. I am absolutely in love with this movie! (kind of weird yeah but im over it) Watch this movie!!!! I have already changed my background on my phone to something from Wall*e and im going to change my background on my computer to something from the movie. WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!! The end.

Wall*e!!!

2008-06-27T16:26:00.000-07:00

So today, Friday the 27th of June, in the year 2008, I, Alex Lybbert, am going to see Wall*e. I have seen preview after preview of this movie and no matter what they show, I laugh every single time. Plus, I get this warm fuzzy feeling inside. I cant wait to see this movie. I am going at 9:50 and it cant come soon enough. I will do another post after I have seen the movie to let my faithful readers know how it was. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion!!!!!!

"Turning point?" "Sure, why not."

2008-06-10T17:13:00.001-07:00

Im back!!! I realize its been a while since i have posted anything, but get over it. :) Lately i have been thinking alot about my life and where im going and what i want and i came to a conclusion... I am nowhere near where i want to be. As some of you might know, i kind of fell away from the church a few years ago and i thought that i would be fine without it. But lately i have been seeing how much better my life is when i go to church and do what im supposed to. So im kind of setting a goal for myself, I want to get married in the temple. If everything the church says is true, i want to be with the people that i love forever. My family, my future wife and future children, and hopefully my friends that i have made throughout my life. Another goal is to have a good job. Good job = Well-paying and something that i enjoy. What that job is... well im not sure yet, but i hope to find out soon. I am planning on going to work at Disneyworld in January next year. Now i know i have said this before, but i kept finding excuses not to go. But now that i have stopped contact with a certain girl... I feel like i have more freedom to do what I want to do. So no more excuses, im going to work there. And who knows, maybe i will find an awesome girl over there that i want to marry, or maybe i will find that job or area that i want to go into for work. So thats what i have been thinking of lately, no an update of what i have been doing. The answer, nothing. I started a job 2 days ago, which really isnt a job but yeah. Im watching my good friends 2 kids and im getting paid $1000 a month. Now i can tell you right now, I love kids, but I would never be able to have a career that deals with them like i do at this job. I know that kind of sounds weird but im not going to explain it anymore, if you want to talk to me about it more, text me or call me or something. I have also been kind of dating a girl, but not really. We started hanging out a while ago and she is really cool and we hooked up once, but we had a talk the other day and both decided we arent meant for each other and just decided that being friends is the best way to go with us. She is moving to AZ this week so even if i wanted something more out of it, it wouldnt work. So yeah, thats all i can think of now. To all my loyal fans, im sorry that it took me so long to post, but oh well. Peace

Birthdays and graduations

2008-04-25T16:37:00.000-07:00

So it was my birthday yesterday, i turned 21, so thats pretty cool. I didnt really do anything because it was also my moms graduation so it was kind of overshadowed, plus i dont really have any friends. I wanted to go to like, the zoo, and the planetarium, but the jazz game was on, and nobody wanted to go with me. So that was a little bit disappointing. But i have been taken out to food like 6 times and the weekend isnt even over. My dad is coming up tomorrow and that means we will probably go out to eat again, but its all been free so bring it on!! So yeah, thats it. Just kind of wanted to vent a little bit. Have a wonderful day! Peace

CONCERT!!!!!

2008-04-14T14:37:00.001-07:00

So tonight, i am going to what will hopefully be the best concert i have ever been to. It is the Paramore/Jimmy Eat World concert at UVSC. The reason this concert should be so good is because I super lover Paramore, and I like Jimmy and I have heard they are really good live. Plus they have been around for a while so they should know what they are doing. I cant wait. im leaving in 21 minutes to wait in line. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! peace

If I had a million dollars...

2008-04-09T22:31:00.001-07:00

In regards to a question asked by a good friend, i would go to disneyworld. The end.

"Where are we? what the hell is going on?" - Imogen Heap

2008-04-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

So quite a while ago, i had a dream. Now normally this wouldnt be anything big, but it is for a few reasons. One, i rarely remember my dreams, and in fact i actually dont remember all of this one, just bits and pieces. Second, this was one of the most amazing dreams i have ever had. Now why am i telling you about this? Well gather around and i will explain. I want to make this dream into a book. Now i have never written anything just for fun, so i am probably not very good at it and it will probably take me a while, IF i ever get started. :) Also i should probably explain the title, not only is it a good song, but it reminds me of my dream. Just the feel and kind of atmosphere it brings to me when i listen to it. Actually alot of her songs kind of do this. This book will be a fantasy book... I guess. haha. Im not real good with genres but im pretty sure thats what it would be under. I kind of want it to feel like a Lord of the Rings/Chronicles of Narnia/Harry Potter sort of feel. So if you can imagine that you can understand what my book will be like. :) Yeah, thats about it. Not sure why i wrote this all in a blog but oh well, nobody really reads it anyways. :) PEACE!

Dreams, what are they made of?

2008-04-03T13:07:00.000-07:00

So this morning, as i was half-asleep, half-not quite awake yet, i came up with a chorus for a song, and it was super awesome, but as i wake up, i only remember one line and not the melody, and then as i go about my day, i forget the line almost completely, i remember something about wings, and it was cool. Anyways, i wish i could remember it. So as many of you know, or can figure out, i have been kind of in a dark place in my life. But im tired of it. Im sick of being depressed and not living my life. So i have decided its time to leave the past and start living in the now. I know that everybody says that, but im going to try my hardest to stop dwelling on the past, because my past wasn't so great. And also im not going to judge people by their past. I think that people can, and do change, whether for good or bad. So from now on im looking in the now and the future. For me, this means getting a job and finding a career. Finding a girlfriend and obviously a wife eventually. Hanging out with my friends more, and not being a hermit. Practicing the guitar and piano more. And just living my life, because life is too short, and i have wasted too much time. So how does this all tie in with the title of this blog? Im not real sure, but i think it just has to do with my dream i had this morning and how it made me think about where i am in my life right now. So look out world, here i come! :)

eff word...

2008-03-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

For the few of you who do this... i hate doing these, but oh well. here it goes, enjoy.

If money, time, and babysitting were no object, where would you go and with who?I would go to ...

1-New Zealand. I mean come on, how cool would that be? Yeah, totally awesome.
2-All of Europe. Just one big tour.

When was the last time you cried?
-Probably at my grandpas funeral.

5 things you were doing 10 years ago - 1998

1-going to school probably.
2-playing power rangers or something during recess.
3-watching tv
4-hanging out with ali francis, we used to do that back then.
5-going camping with my dad maybe...

5 things you were doing 5 years ago - 2003

1-Going to school, high school.
2-making new friends. (mike, ryan, erica, jake, scott)
3-probably doing homework.
4-playing the piano
5-just chillin

5 things you were doing 1 year ago - 2007

1-being sad and depressed
2-Working at Game Crazy
3-listening to music
4-going to school, college
5-playing WoW (World of Warcraft)

7 of your favorite hobbies(these are not necessarily in a particular order)
1-Music
2-Reading
3-Watching Movies
4-Playing video games
5-Longboarding
6-More music
7-Texting

5 favorite foods
1-Teriyaki chicken
2-Steak
3-Steak
4-Steak
5-Steak sauce

5 places you've been

1- Cancun, Mexico.
2- DisneyWorld
3-Lake Tahoe, Nevada side.
4-Cozumel... Mexico?
5-The outer rim colonies fighting in the clone wars

5 favorite memories

1-alot of high school, not all of it but alot. and that pretty much covers 1-4
2-
3-
4-
5-hanging out with myke.

5 people you wish you could meet/see again(again, in no particular order)

1-My grandpa
2-Obi-wan Kenobi.
3-Jack Sparrow
4-Harry Potter
5-my true love?

Thats it. the end

I hate being sick

2008-03-10T13:32:00.000-07:00

The title of this blog pretty much sums it up... i have been sick for a few days and i hate it. Plus i have 2 tests that i have to take right before my spring break. Talk about super gay, i hate teachers like that. Until next time, Peace

Feeling lonely in a crowd of people.

2008-03-05T17:21:00.000-08:00

I'm lonely. thats just all there is to say about my current situation. I really have no friends, i just go through my day on my own, thats it. But even when im walking through school with crowds of people everywhere, there is still an overwhelming sense of loneliness... and it sucks. The girl that i practically dated for 5 years now treats me like crap and doesnt even want to be my friend. I hate my life right now, and the worst part is that i dont know what to do. I dont know how to fix it or how to change it. Life for me sucks...

Im cool

2008-02-26T18:18:00.000-08:00

So while watching the Jazz game at my sister apartment, i decided that i am pretty cool. Haha. But then i decided that i could be cooler. I could lose my beer belly, and tone up my muscles and then i would be like super cool. And then i thought, man, my hair is sexy... if only i had a girlfriend to run her fingers through it and tell me how sexy it was, i would be pretty dang happy... but at the moment, that cant happen. Then i thought, if i could sing like some of the bands that i listen to, i would be super-awesome-cool. The end.

Angry...

2008-02-25T16:28:00.000-08:00

So i realize that some of my blogs have been kind of angry, and some kind of sad, so for all two of you that read them, do not worry, im alright, this is kind of just a way to get all those angry feelings out, instead of keeping them all bottled in, which i used to do. Its kind of like a journal that everyone can read, cool huh?

Who I am

2008-02-21T13:08:00.000-08:00

So lately, my life has sucked, i think i have been pretty clear about that. But im tired of pretending im ok and i am ready to just be myself. For all of my life i have been worried about what people think about me and i have always tried to impress them, whether i really liked them or not. So the following is a list of who I am.
-First off, I am Alex, not Alexander. Alexander might be my given name, but that is not who i am.
-Next, I like my hair long. I think it looks better and I think it feels heavenly. :)
-I enjoy rocking out to music. In my room, in my car, wherever, so im gonna do it no matter how goofy i might look.
-I like watching movies, and i like alot of movies, some of them most people dont like, but i do. And yes, i do like anime. Not all of it, but some.
-Yes, i have a temper. Whether i got it from my dad or not, is not the point. I try not to get angry, but sometimes it happens, and im working on controlling it, so until then, sorry. Nothing i can do about it right now. I would never hurt anybody though, so dont think just because I am mad that im going to hurt you, i would never do that to anybody.
-I like musicals, once again, not all, but some. Like the Phantom of the Opera, the movie, not the old play.
-I like to sing, but i dont like to sing solo. So unless the music is loud, or something, dont expect me to sing for you, even if you ask.
-I like to make people laugh, sometimes i am good at it and sometimes im not, so if i say something, dont laugh out of pity, thats just lame. Just tell me it was lame, i can handle it.
Now im going to list a few guidelines, or just general things that bother me, or yeah, just read it. This could be for the lucky girl that ends up with me, whenever that might be. You have to be pretty lucky to get with me. :)
-I like to watch movies, as i have previously stated, but i am also very opinionated on movies, especially their covers. So if we are walking through Blockbuster or something, and i dont sound excited about a particular movie, dont get all flustered and storm off, because i will pretty much watch everything, i just wouldnt choose some movies before others. But i expect if i have to watch your movies, it would be nice if you watched my movies. Even if they dont look like your favorite.
-I like to feel wanted. Girls arent the only ones that like attention, but usually they are the only ones that get it. Compliment my cool new shirt i got, or run your hands through my hair and tell me how heavenly you think it is. :) But also remember that i have only been in one relationship, and it wasnt a very healthy one, so if i dont know what to do or what to say, be patient with me and help me out. Also, text ME. or call me, or something. Like i said, everybody wants to feel wanted, so let me know that you want me, and that its not just one-sided.
-My family. My family is weird, but they are my friends as well, and also our friends the Francis family. They are a big part of my life and it would be nice if you would come hang out with us. I realize you might not like them, but at least give them a try.
-Im a nerd, and yes, i play WoW. For all those who dont know, WoW stands for World of Warcraft. Yes i play, and yes, i love it. Now i understand that you need to spend time with your girlfriend, but WoW is one way for me to hang out with my friends. So if you could just be understanding and maybe give me a few nights, that would be great. But this doesnt mean i wont do anything for you, or with you. We will still hang out a ton and yeah, hard to explain like this, but if you want to know more, you can ask me in person.
-Speaking of hanging out, I enjoy spending lots of time with people that are close to me, like a girlfriend would be, but you have to understand that I dont make plans alot. Most of the time when i hang out or go somewhere its just random, but if i have a girlfriend, naturally i will try and hang out with you the most, so it would just be nice if i could find someone who can hang out at a whims notice, is what im trying to say.
So yeah, thats all i got right now. If i think of more, i will post again.

Time heals all things...

2008-02-20T13:10:00.000-08:00

Whoever said "time heals all things" should be shot. In my opinion thats just a way of saying i dont want to deal with it right now, so i will just give it time. Plus, time doesnt heal ALL things, maybe some, but definitely not all. Thats the end of that. So lately, i have been thinking, and i decided that people do change, but i think for the most part, they change for the worst, and not for the better. My ex, for example, is not even close to the person she used to be when we were friends and when we started dating, and towards me, she has changed for the worst, actually overall i think she has changed in a bad way. But for a long time, she always said i needed to change, and she even told me once that i would never be happy with a girl if i stay how i am right now. But thats the thing, this is me, right now at this point in my life, this is who i am. In my current situation, i cant change who i am, so does that mean that i wont be happy because i have a few flaws? I would like to think not. I think i have enough good qualities about me that someone can see past my flaws and be happy with me. For about 5 years, this ex of mine has always made me feel like i was the one causing all the problems, and that my life was horrible because of me. Even when we were together and she supposedly cared for me, she told me these things, what kind of a person does that? Sure i made some mistakes, it was my first and since then my only relationship. But that doesnt mean that I was the one that screwed everything up. A certain line from a song comes to mind when i think of this, it goes "why should i take all the blame for my mistakes, you were there with every promise made to break, when did you become the one without regret, kill me, burn me down, i swear i wont forget". So in a relationship, you both have to work towards it if there is a problem, it shouldnt be a one sided thing. And after everything that she did to me, i forgave her, for EVERYTHING, but i do one thing and she holds it against me forever. To this day, she brings up things from the past, and still, i forgive her for everything she has done. But not this time, im done with the drama and the fighting and everything. This is who i am. Im tired of doing things for you, and from now on i will do something because i want to, and i will stop worrying about what you might think about it. This is my life, and i need to start taking control of it. ok, im done. :)

Stupidest day of the year...

2008-02-14T09:10:00.000-08:00

Ok so, today is the 14th day of the 2nd month of 2008... and if you dont know what day that is... its stupid Valentines day. Of course as soon as i get a girlfriend, this will change and Valentines day will be a very good day. But if you are single, there is absolutely nothing you can do to also celebrate this day. Any other holiday of the year, anybody can celebrate, there arent rules to those days, but this day, WHY???? Valentines day is ONLY for couples, and i think that is super duper freaking gay. Ok, im done being angry. Just if you see me, dont ask me what im doing today or i might ninja punch you in the face. Bye

Dreams

2008-02-13T13:12:00.000-08:00

So i had a dream last night, obviously, but this one i actually remembered and it was the first dream i remembered in weeks. This dream, was a good dream... sort of. I had surgery (appendix removed) in this dream, and for some reason i was at my grandmas house after this surgery and some of my cousins were there, and here is where the good part comes in, i had a girlfriend, and she was super hot (red head... not always hot but she was) and it felt awesome, this is one of those dreams i never wanted to wake up from. Anyways, for some reason my stitches kept coming out and i would bleed everywhere, so i was walking along with my girlfriend and some guy that i dont remember who it was, as im still bleeding mind you, and we come upon this like, hippie, necklace, seashell, side-of-the-road, place where they were selling stuff, and i collapse on a display and then i woke up... and i was upset that i woke up, not only because i really really really really really really like sleeping, but because i lost my girlfriend, and i was back to the reality of being girlfriend-less and it sucked. Lately i have been kind of depressed, and as i think about how awesome this dream was, maybe it was a way for my mind to go "HEY! im sick of being depressed, here is something to cheer you up" and it did, until i woke up. Now i just think of the hot girl in my dream and bleeding... isnt life weird?

First Blog!!!! YAY

2008-02-12T10:58:00.001-08:00

ok so, yeah, this is my first blog... pretty exciting i know. Some random guy told me to do it, you know who you are (wink wink) and so yeah, i decided to give it a try. My current status right now is cold with a 75% chance of already being sick. There seems to be a cold front coming in from the fan blowing behind me, and that could bring along hunger/agitation. Now back to the normal report, valentines day is coming up, and once again i am single, and will probably sit at home and be sad and angry and depressed about a certain girl, and many people will probably know who she is. (anger anger) But im trying to not think of her anymore and just get over her. ok well... im hungry, and i need to do some laundry, cool...